It’s virtual but it’s real!


“Eh! You’ve got to be kidding me?”

“Am I just a Facebook friend to you now? And this you were trying to convey to me through your shady behavior from last one month?”

“Whatever, I don’t really care now. Don’t you ever talk to me again Mounik. And now I am going to block you on my Facebook and Whatsapp too. Don’t text me ever again. Arrghh Bye!”

A text conversation was finished with a red face smiley which was provided for such conditions in phone settings.

Smita just had a chat with one of her so called close friends, right before the moment she was found angrily sinking in her cozy bed and pretended sleeping.

“It is Monday tomorrow and I cannot deliver my work early morning if I keep thinking about this all.”

After two and a half hours, she was found restless. With a cracking sound of bed, she had sprung up and down two three times to change her sleeping posture. She could see passing those hours at night, his images kept her so busy.

“It’s been 11 months now, he’s been so positive. We have shared almost everything about past, present and future and now he is saying he had never given me any….. (Speaking loudly in mind) …. SIGNS.” (Sigh!)

“What a confused and stupid person he is.” She thought and muttered, “God! All I have to care about me now. In this forest of strangers, there is nobody I can trust upon.”

A new day of life had started for her, without texting the coffee taste and breakfast menu to Mounik. The first morning in 11 months went without wishing him ‘good morning’. She felt amused and annoyed at the same time for how dependent she had become for her selection of wardrobe to housekeeping, her job switch options to future investment plans for she had shared with him every day. “Disgusting,” She spoke to herself in pain.

She had struggled for one week, since Tuesday she had been complaining of sore throat, eye pain and headache. This had become more difficult than she had thought. She did not realize when she had started feeling good with a stranger. Mounik was not serious, neither was she, then why she had started expecting so much from a virtual friend. Smita had come to know that lately, what could be done then, she had lost it. Due to this rejection she had lost her confidence; she had cut her edge away from real life friends. She could not deal with it. She did not realize when she had turned moody and reluctant and the shine from her face eventually faded.

After four months, she resigned from her job and the reason was her continuously deteriorating health. She had faced acute phase food reaction, got hospitalized and then was saved. But this was the start of her story, one day she got a family offer to get settled (in India it is marriage which settles you). She met a complete stranger man. And after one short meeting, she expressed willingness to get married with the same person. In a month or so, she got engaged with him and even with a plenty of trust issues, she made that decision for life. Any thought on why?

Challenges in relationships lead to shelter!

The relationships have changed its way of communication these days; this has gone more textual and less vocal leading to an addiction of unreal attraction towards unexpectedly easy communication. A challenge to gain the unattained relationships works as a magnet to these networks.

Like Smita, many young girls and boys are attracted to some virtual connections and create an imaginary world around them; they seek for their suggestion and every second thought and every day event shared with the imaginary closed ones. The side effects are far more dangerous than facing the danger from the front. Psychologists call it maladaptive behaviour which is seen in most of day dreamers. They are caught playing around a nonexistent world and talking to a person who they have never met before out of the day and night limit. This becomes more of psychology issue.

Friendship is now limited to a win – lose game!

While this phenomenal trend to increase network on social sites majorly like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, QQ or Tumbler etc. have drawn every age group, sector, industry and masses at large with an opportunity of risk and gains. For it is a common market idea of using personal contacts for shaping business relationships every day. That, on the other hand, has led to risk of failures caused by unknown network of unreliable sources and unjustifiable business offers.

New Trend – More social, more relevant, more efficient!

Presently, even the high technology savvy companies hire on the basis of candidates’ X-tra qualities. And this includes their human dealing through how they keep their status quo especially on social sites. The current survey shows, these companies do a lot of due diligence on the relevant candidature. The candidates who are found socially inactive are considered socially irresponsible and inefficient in dealing with their clientele.

Demonstration effect changes the basic needs of common man!

The most commonly people even in their busiest schedule do not forget to buzz those strangers who they like to talk. Moreover this gives them freedom to speak what is hidden inside and they cannot reveal through their routine behavior and lifestyle. In a way or the other, the mobile apps introduced in the market supporting to these social channels, have made it twenty four hours deal, around which people struggle to optimize their life.

Learn to let go!

Smita was mere example of all that modern and smart life hassles people are working around. Smita chooses to marry a stranger on her preference of experimental ‘real’ over a sweet adaptable ‘unreal’ relationship. She has gained confidence to face real happenings and accepting real life policies and possibilities. She has learnt that every day real life battle prepares you best for ultimate future fights; they make you stronger every way. Smita is happy or not, depends on Smita only. All she needs to think upon her choices and trust her own decisions. She has to learn to let go to live in present and real world.

The virtual world, like a dream, can make our days smiling but they do not give us a promise of real happiness in the long term. It has to get over unless it is nurtured by both ends. Online relationships are virtual but its’ ramifications are real. If we like to have optimal results of omnipotent technology and its advancements, as a society, we have to collaboratively work towards finding solutions for everyday altering need of adoption and unchangeable values.

In last four years in India, if we analyze data of behaviour change in regards of adoption of new technology and compare the transformation in societal values we see a fluctuated graph. Human expectations related to study, career and relationships also have come up as life’s biggest challenges. In this scenario, if the young generation gets to learn how to deal with every day’s tension, guilt, insecurity and unexpected behaviour; they can deliver better and increase the quotient of happiness daily; they can commit to a successful life and contribute in greater life expectancy.

by Chitra Chauhan

images (2)

download texting-a-girl-tips

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “It’s virtual but it’s real!

  1. woah lizzy 😀 ^_^ sorry i took so long to read ^^ but its awesome na 😀 n pretty much applies to the present generation 🙂 me included 😛 ^^ i still wouldn’t want to differentiate between virtual or real though 🙂 friends are friends and that is all that matters to me 🙂

  2. Thanks Sanky for the read. Actually your one point is correct but see for all it does not turn out to be so well specially when they trust on strangers online. It does not show only bad face of virtual friendships/relationships, yet it shows the good face of real time relationships. Be it virtual or real, relationships need nurturing through all channels. For the same we should never create any image/shape/identity/ personality etc. in our imagination but we should meet the person in real we should try to know them and then expect/trust for anything. The depth of any long term relationship is trust and that does not come randomly it always comes with positive approaches and efforts. Thanks again for reading and appreciating.

  3. Prashant

    That was a wonderful read Chitra…Thanks for sharing!!!! I can see a lot of research has been done…Kudos to your efforts..n I agree with you on handling/nurturing relationship…when it comes to virtual relationship one can’t be completely naive…one should have the maturity to understand the pros n cons of this.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s