I cant cry in the public eye

I cant cry in the public eye

..

I cry in solitude.

I cry when I can ..

..roll tears on my cheeks

..give a try not to cry but then again

..feel weaker and weakest

..see my arms wipe out the water

wetting the cloak

..not be able to stop the fall

..smother my cries and sighs

breathing guilt of doing..

something in vein..

cursing myself..

blaming for the crime nobody committed

blindly tapping here there..

try to crush things before eyes..

try to recognize face traumatized

sudden noise..

broke the silence

know not to show up

listened to the voice ..

coming to ears but not to mind

tried to remove every evidence of cry

..all redness and moisture

and every single silhouette

of darkness in soul and mind

….

I am not so lucky ..

to stop the cries

yet not so lucky to hide..

it showed up

but I smile

it could not reveal

the truth

or the lie..

because..

I cant cry in the public eye..